USA Customer Service problems

Subject: USA Customer Service problems

Dear World:

The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of
liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008
service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service
interruption has been located, and the parts responsible for it
were replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly-
installed equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly, and
we expect it to be fully functional by mid-January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage, and we
look forward to resuming full service --- and hopefully even to
improving it in years to come.

Thank you for your patience and understanding,

The USA

(earliest version I could find: http://mauialmanac.com/2008/11/13/usa-service-outage/)